Tried to Google strap-on because I’ve never seen one with balls, and I lost connection. Closed Google, and it came back. My wifi is a prude.


you give my butterflies…… but not even in a cute way anymore talking to you gives me anxiety and I’m terrified about everything I say I’m so dumb

I would sell your soul for Reese’s cups right now.

You can cover your greys, but you can’t cover those under eye wrinkles.

You can cover your greys, but you can’t cover those under eye wrinkles.

I may have to work today, but I’ll be getting holiday pay while others are getting their precious cookouts ruined by rain. Suck it, jerks.

Describe a moment that took your breath away?

The time I saw Primus play in Pittsburgh.

It was my first real concert. Ever. Standing with the crowd and feeling the excitement and anticipation of everyone around me was surreal.

When the lights went up, and I heard the first notes of To Defy The Laws Of Tradition, I froze. Les fucking Claypool was 100 feet from me. I looked around me like, “This can’t be real” and squealed.

I still remember everything about that night. I still get chills when I hear those first notes.

Working on a holiday weekend means I’m bored. Save me. Ask me things.


"You are nothing. We are VENOM.”

VENOM, by Niko Metsälä.


I woke up at 5 thinking I’d overslept, jumped out of bed, and started rushing to get ready for work.

It’s my day off.

Who manages to bust their lip with their own toothbrush? This girl.

I tried to help my fellow commuters wake up this morning by screaming along to Deftones, but they just wanted to bury their stupid faces in their coffee at every light. Losers. Music > caffeine. Yeah, I said it.

Inside, my hair looks mostly jet black, with hints of blue here and there. In the sun, it ranges from almost dark purple to electric blue. Secret identity achievement unlocked.

I’m especially weirded out by dudes who go to tanning beds.

Is this day over yet? Nope. Haven’t pissed off enough people yet.