Chance is such a distinguished old dog.
• I traded my eyeglasses for sunglasses today, because we’re road tripping to Ohio.
• Anything Claypool-related makes for great road trip music.
• After rolling through numerous deer massacres, I’m confident that anything involving tires will never be a career choice for me. Ever.
• It’s ten degrees cooler in Marietta than it was in Charleston. Shorts were not a good choice.
• I miss spending weekends here. It’s peaceful and pretty and there’s a fucking donkey. Those things are huge! Did you guys know that?
”..the Son of Man came not to be served, but to serve..”
Kate and I grew up together. For awhile, we were the only girls our age in the neighborhood. We learned to ride bikes together, worshipped Madonna, and spent many sleepovers trying to help me be more girly.
Then puberty hit. It was kinder to her than it was me. She became one of the popular kids. More girls our age moved into the neighborhood; more thin, cute, girly girls like her.
It started with nicknames like “Glow Worm” and “Oreo.” Soon, we became frenemies. When the other girls were around, I was the odd girl out. The punching bag.
High school came, and we avoided each other. We had our own groups and stuck to them. Even though we lived on opposite ends of the block, we only saw each other in passing at school. I learned what real friends were; the kind that care and don’t give you racist nicknames and throw your glasses in the street into oncoming traffic. I hated her.
Years later, after I’d lost weight, gained confidence, and learned how to be girl instead of a tomboy, she found me on Facebook. She commented on how great I looked, and apologized for being such a bitch to me. Of course I forgave her. She had obviously finally grown up.
Two years ago, on my birthday, her boyfriend killed her and then himself, leaving their infant daughter an orphan. I was in shock. Even now, writing this, I’m still in shock.
I saw her mother at the store the other day. She’s gotten so old since then. She gave me a tired smile, but I don’t think she recognized me. I wanted to hug her, to say something, but I couldn’t. I just stared, blinked back tears, and let her walk away.
Imagine wearing this while lying on a blanket in your backyard, half asleep with the sun and a breeze tickling your skin. You hear noises coming from behind the gate, but think nothing of it because nature. Suddenly, a man is beside you, saying hi.
Even though you know him, that’s some creepy shit. Like, couldn’t you announce yourself when you open the gate? Seriously, dude, especially when you see a half-naked girl who’s obviously completely unaware of your presence.
This is why I usually have DeNiro with me when I’m outside. Unfortunately, I had just let him back in the house.
Not being anonymous is a pretty good starting point, though. Also, don’t be a dick.
That’s it. That’s all you have to do.